“That Bitter Feeling”

Poem written by Franklin Rayeski – Please do not use without crediting me

It feels like your insides weigh a ton
And you’re just dragging yourself around.
You need all the strength you got to get up
And even more to resist falling back to the ground.

It’s like being at the bottom of a well
And the white light above is slowly closing its shutter.
Everything becomes worse than it ever was
And every word sends you back into the gutter.

It takes will power to do the things you loved
Because there’s a magnet pulling you back to the bed.
If you had your way, you’d never get up.
You’d lie there as if you were dead.

Like tears are always at the ready
And run whenever they hear a yell.
Sometimes it’s like there’s always a twist in your stomach
And sometimes you’re just an empty shell.

It’s not quite sadness, it’s just a bitter feeling
And no matter what you do, it never goes away.
You can try your hardest and it may disappear for a moment
But it always comes back either way.

It’s not like every second is pain
Or that every moment sad;
It’s just not having the energy to experience life
Or even enough to pretend to be glad.

It’s like not even wanting to get better,
It’s just wanting to fly far, far away
And never wanting to go back home
Because no healing words can calm the dismay.

As if every thought is “I don’t know”
And not having the strength to want to know.
It’s just wanting to sit in a ball and cry for years.
It’s like hanging off a cliff and just wanting to let go.

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